TMI

Too much information, as in “I didn’t really need to know that”.  I’m calling this post TMI, because to those of you who aren’t parents -- you may think the following would have been better left unsaid (or “un-posted”, rather).  But since this blog is more or less a place for what’s in my brain to ooze out. . .

I had to take two showers yesterday.  Why?  Because I got pee-peed on by my three-year-old.  That’s right -- pee-peed on.  A baby homosapien is the only life form that has the gall to just unashamedly spray you.  Oh yeah, and he laughed, too.  He thought it was hilarious.  It’s as if he were saying, “Dear man, of course I know this is wrong.  But while I am still of the age at which you can’t tell if this is accidental or not, I must plumb the depths of these formative years for all of the humor that I can wring from them.  For you see, father, it shan’t be too much longer that I can get away with peeing on you.  Therefore, I must.” 

Okay, maybe he wasn’t thinking of the word “shan’t”. . . Truth be known, I laughed, too.  I guess he is still young enough to get away with it.

But again, for those of you that don’t yet know the joys of parenthood (and there are many, many joys):  there are certain secrets in the parenting club that no one tells you about ahead of time, for fear of scaring you off from this fun-filled adventure.  So through the aforementioned story, I’m here to let you in on one of these parenting “rites of passage”:  When you have a child, the level of gross situations you occasionally find yourself in will reach new heights.  See, you just thought it was gross in eighth grade, when Billy Fesmire ate a pickle off the floor.  And you just knew you were going to be sick in college -- when the dude wearing the viking helmet swallowed the bite of hamburger that the other dude chewed up.

But no.  These are not even finalists in your list of grossest moments compared to what lies ahead.  Let me just share a few personal, random incidents off the top of my head.

-Pee-peed on?  I’ve lost count.

-Picked stuff out of noses?  Check.

-Had baby-poop on me?  Uh-huh.

-Have I reached out and used my hands to actually catch my son’s throw-up, to save money on having the couch cleaned?  Been there, bought the stained t-shirt.

Do I need to go on, here?

Now mind you, I don’t necessarily have an iron-clad stomach.  If it’s you getting sick on me, my gag reflex will prevail.  But somehow, God gives parents some type of “gross-out hall pass” when it comes to their own children (as if to reason, “Well at least this is throw-up from my own lineage.” )

So, what’s my point?  Well, I definitely don’t want to talk down being a parent.  Overall, it’s one of the coolest things in life.  I just wanted to be forthcoming about the good, the bad, AND the ugly.  And boy does it get ugly. 

(This post has been cathartic for me; even purging, if you will.  Feel free to post comments regarding your own less-than-tidy adventures in parenting).

Comments

[beccalyn_alaska@yahoo.com]

Oh, my. All of our family's been sick this week. I can relate to everything on your list, except for catching the vomit... I happened to be holding my two year old when she threw up all over both of us. I don't know if I'd have chosen to catch it! :)
Yup, there are definitely things I'm glad people didn't tell me before I got pregnant! I did not know being a mommy was a contact sport!